Feeling lost, getting lost, being lost. And terribly alone.

I've lost track of the last few days. It's all been a blur. Traveling alone is hard, and scarier than I'm OK with at times. I always find a friend to chat with, to have a meal with, to share travel stories with... but sometimes in the middle of the day, standing in a crowded intersection of motorbikes and madness.. the loneliness consumes me entirely. It's hard to sleep at night. A combination of being concerned for safety and the loneliness. It's been a week without sleep and as the days pass and the weariness catches up to me - I lose track of time. I think of the last few days as a blur of frames:

* 2 more dives and I'm an advanced certified scuba diver

* A private yoga class on the roof of the dive shop. It's just me and the instructor.. so we make it a power yoga class and try to outdo each other. She speaks english with a thick russian accent. And as we do our sun salutations, I can hear the construction sounds of Nha Trang fade around me and hear only my breath.

* My stomach tells me it's time to go.. it's time to leave. And so I buy a bus ticket for that night and I leave Nha Trang and go to Hoi An.

* A 12 hour bus ride... listening to music and watching the moonlit ocean through the window... then blinking myself awake and watching the sunrise over the rice patties in Hoi An.

* A romantic town, with romantic streets, and romantic restaurants and cafes... and walking alone. Feeling lost because I don't know how to get to my next destination by the time I need to be there and lost because I don't have anywhere to sleep. I'm alone and I'm scared, and it's 6am.

* Dropping everything and dropping my worries and going to a cooking class. Walking through a market and being hypersensitive to every sight, sound, and feeling from the lack of sleep. The smell of the fresh lemon basil..the cilantro... the freshly caught fish... the colors of the exotic fruit.. all blurring past me as I duck under low hanging tarps through the central market. Then taking all of these fresh ingredients and creating 5 amazing dishes.

* A sigh of relief in meeting (by chance) a traveler from SF who is a friend of a friend. Being thankful for having a friend that shares a place I call home. And intoxicating ourselves on laughter and wine into oblivion over an amazing meal.

* A knock on my door at 530am and a smiling face delivers breakfast and alerts me that my private car has arrived... and after having been in Hoi An just 24 hours I'm swept away on a plane

* Hearing my name from a familiar voice and I turn to see an college friend, Sho - I'm at our meeting point at the right time in the right place.

I've made it. Hello Hanoi.