Feeling lost, getting lost, being lost. And terribly alone.

I've lost track of the last few days. It's all been a blur. Traveling alone is hard, and scarier than I'm OK with at times. I always find a friend to chat with, to have a meal with, to share travel stories with... but sometimes in the middle of the day, standing in a crowded intersection of motorbikes and madness.. the loneliness consumes me entirely. It's hard to sleep at night. A combination of being concerned for safety and the loneliness. It's been a week without sleep and as the days pass and the weariness catches up to me - I lose track of time. I think of the last few days as a blur of frames:

* 2 more dives and I'm an advanced certified scuba diver

* A private yoga class on the roof of the dive shop. It's just me and the instructor.. so we make it a power yoga class and try to outdo each other. She speaks english with a thick russian accent. And as we do our sun salutations, I can hear the construction sounds of Nha Trang fade around me and hear only my breath.

* My stomach tells me it's time to go.. it's time to leave. And so I buy a bus ticket for that night and I leave Nha Trang and go to Hoi An.

* A 12 hour bus ride... listening to music and watching the moonlit ocean through the window... then blinking myself awake and watching the sunrise over the rice patties in Hoi An.

* A romantic town, with romantic streets, and romantic restaurants and cafes... and walking alone. Feeling lost because I don't know how to get to my next destination by the time I need to be there and lost because I don't have anywhere to sleep. I'm alone and I'm scared, and it's 6am.

* Dropping everything and dropping my worries and going to a cooking class. Walking through a market and being hypersensitive to every sight, sound, and feeling from the lack of sleep. The smell of the fresh lemon basil..the cilantro... the freshly caught fish... the colors of the exotic fruit.. all blurring past me as I duck under low hanging tarps through the central market. Then taking all of these fresh ingredients and creating 5 amazing dishes.

* A sigh of relief in meeting (by chance) a traveler from SF who is a friend of a friend. Being thankful for having a friend that shares a place I call home. And intoxicating ourselves on laughter and wine into oblivion over an amazing meal.

* A knock on my door at 530am and a smiling face delivers breakfast and alerts me that my private car has arrived... and after having been in Hoi An just 24 hours I'm swept away on a plane

* Hearing my name from a familiar voice and I turn to see an college friend, Sho - I'm at our meeting point at the right time in the right place.

I've made it. Hello Hanoi.

Paradise Found

Rented a 'nicer' bicycle and went on another trek thru nha trang. Wandered into the oceanographic institute and looked at the bizarre aquariums. It's mid 90s and after riding another 10 km up the beach I was looking for a place to stop. A bunch of Vietnamese locals starting hollering at me 'you! you I be waiting for... darling!' I died laughing and rode on.

stopped at a perfect spot in the shade and enjoyed the view while eating some local fruit. a 20-something year old Vietnamese girl approaches me and in broken english says 'me and my friends want have beer you with' - and she points to a group of her friends sitting in the park drinking Vietnamese beer (333). I join them and had the most entertaining hour of my life. as we drink beer, the girl translates all the nice things the boys want to say to me... which is funny because translating what they want to say into english is funny, and the girl has bad english - even funnier. we drink beer eat mangoes, rice crackers, bread, and a Vietnamese version of beef jerky.

riding down the coast again I head to louisane brewhouse. the dive shop told me not to go here because it's too expensive... which is exactly why I went. yes I will play $1 for a comfy lounge chair right on the beach, yes I will pay $2 for their amazing New Zealand brewed beer, and yes I will sit here the rest of the day listening to my iPod because I'm surrounded by tourists with apple products!

A ride on a fixie, a shamu outfit, and an evening out in Nha Trang, Vietnam

I planned on going to bed early last night but ended up staying awake till late. not for any fun reasons. my email has been hacked into a half dozen times (sorry mommy, here is yet another Viagra spam email)... but this time my bank account was hacked into. on the phone with bank America much longer than I wanted to be up for. shit happens. it worked out in the end.

wore two wetsuits on my dive today. I dont like being cold. I looked like a shamu marshmallow after i got suited up. dives today were better than yesterday - moray eels, dragon fish, sea snakes, and pipe fish. i got to swim thru caves with tons of (threatening looking) fish on both sides. my 'skill' for the day in my advanced scuba course was using an underwater computer to navigate us thru our dive and back to the boat. I am asian.. and female.. and therefore have no sense of direction. after a 40 minute dive I more or less got us back. f for effort.

after my dive I rented a bicycle to explore nha trang. mission hipsters may call it a 'fixie', but i call it a piece of shit bike that has no gears. i still rode faster than some of the motorbikes. road along the beach till i was no longer on the 'Nha trang tourist map'. made a u turn and spent over an hour looking for the big budda. it's one thing being lost, but it's another thing being lost amongst crazy Vietnam motorbike traffic... and then my chain dropped and I had to get off and try to fix my bike. an old Vietnamese man runs over and starts helping me. he fixes my bike, helps me wash my grease stained hands and gives me the biggest smile. I said 'thanks' gave him a smile and as I turned around - there was the big budda. sweet.

after a long shower was ready to call it a night but decided to go out just for a bit. its Saturday anyway. went to the sailing club- the 'nicest' restaurant that throws a beach party once a month. my thought process: the most expensive party will be the safest party. a beautiful view of the ocean, white sandy beaches, modern establishment, big sound system with a DJ spinning some kind of lounge house music (reminds me of xyz bar). I know I'm safe because everyone here clearly has money. feels very la jolla-esque.. maybe because the white couple in front of me includes a sculpted and manscaped gentleman and a woman with (fill in the every kind of job) done. this midori-sponsored party involves 'high priced' drinks (ie $5 instead of $1) and all kinds of weird entertainment (dragon dance, fire dance, fire juggling, etc). was attempting to sit solo and enjoy myself... but that didn't last long!

Soaking up the sun in Nha Trang, Vietnam

I'm cold. And I'm counting down the minutes till I start sweating again. it's noon, I've got my long sleeve on and I'm sitting at the front of the dive boat en route back to the pier after 2 dives in Nha Trang, Vietnam. The water is colder here (and the weather cooler) than other the other countries I've been to. By no means is it actually COLD... but I did have to wear a wet suit today. I know Asia is all about service, but Vietnam brings it to a whole new level. There are 4 guys assisting me on the dive boat: one puts on my BCD (ie scuba jacket), another is on the floor putting on my fins, another is holding my arm so I don't fall (the boat is rocking).. and the 4th guy is my private dive instructor who's prepping me on what we're doing in this dive. After getting on my gear one guy is handing me my air, the other is guiding me to the edge of the boat, the other is putting my mask on my head and my dive instructor is in the water waiting for me. OMG! I don't know what else I could ask for.

The catch: Diving in vietnam is just 'ok'. there is a lot of brown, a lot of sand, there is trash in the water (wtf?), visibility is low- but there are occasionally some amazing things to see. a moray eel hides in the coral, a long serpent like thing glides past me into a rock, puffer fish of every size and color with pursed lips swim past. getting my 'advanced' scuba certification is 100x easier than the 'open water' certification I did in Koh Tao, Thailand. This one is 'going diving and then at the end you do a skill that takes 1 minute' (ie hover upside down in the water). Six dives, breakfast and lunch everyday, transportation to/from
hotel, an English speaking instructor, and the amazing service I described - $230. it costs 4x that amount for the same thing at the great barrier reef.

I thought the dive shop had everything I needed. But apparently there is icing on the cake - the Russian dive instructor teaches yoga classes on the roof of the dive shop. Found my om and called it a day.

Hello Ho Chi Minh

It took a minute to get to Ho Chi Minh... but we made it. A bit of a mixup with visas in Cambodia made us miss our bus (and enabled us to play a LOT of uno). Found a bar owned by a guy from California and we ate lunch and dinner and drank there... all day. An overnight bus to Ho Chi Minh put us at over 30 hours to get from Siem Reap Cambodia... but the light at the end of the tunnel: Park Hyatt Hotel (BIG thanks to Adam's parents!).

30 hours with no shower and checking into five-star luxury is more like ... 30 hours with no shower and checking into 30-star luxury. Enough said.

I had to watch a "how to" on you tube to learn how to cross the street in ho chi minh. Simply said - its madness. Period. This city is SO alive. 10 million people and 5 million motorbikes. I think I'm in for quite a ride.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tqh0f9Noklg

Vietnam War Museum

I sit in the Vietnam war museum in Ho Chi Minh and I've seen less than half of it, and I've also seen enough. I sit because my knees are trembling and I cover my face with a bandana because I'm crying. I'm in Asia- where they will show you the war for what it is. There is no Disney cover up, there is no happy ending to the movie, this is not an American museum. And it's taking a very anti-american angle at telling the story of the vietnam war. The museum is covered with candid photographs- of the Vietnamese civilians being tortured by Americans, of the hostile interrogations, of bombs being dropped on cities, of the effect of those bombs - images of disfigured children missing arms and legs. The photographs cover the walls as do the statistics - the hundreds of thousands of civilians killed - the numbers broken out by civilians over 60, infants, pregnant women.

I can't look anymore. There is no one laughing in this museum. There are no children playing and there are no smiles.

the simple life

Imagine living the simple life. Working on a boat 7 days a week and you live off the sea. Or living on a farm in a house made out of palm leaves and bamboo... and a bad rainstorm will make you homeless. A life that is at the mercy of nature- the crops, the animals, the weather will determine your standard of living. There is no walmart down the street.

I get to glimpse into the simple life of the people of Asia - and it gives me a reality check on what we need vs what we want. I think 99% of my daily life is spent fulfilling my wants - I want a new iPad, a new outfit to wear when I go out tonight, gas in my car to drive me to my friends house, have my nails done, a glass of wine... I could sit and make this list forever. And it's stressful trying to tackle this list of wants - 'I'm pressed for time because I have too many errands to run'. I can only imagine what real stress would feel like - not having enough water, no roof, no light, no food. The next time I'm stressed out by having to make a hard decision like 'will I get the wifi version or the 3G when I buy an iPad?' I know I'll give myself a reality check, and will use that iPad to find a charity to donate to.

Biking Bangkok to Angkor Wat: Day 5 - exploring Angkor Wat

We rode into the Angkor Wat complex today and explored the temples by bike. What an amazing site! I had no idea how big Angkor Wat was. It was interesting to hear the history and the stories behind the temple... but I was never one to love that kind of museum stuff (I wore Nikes went I went to see the Louvre in Paris and I half jogged so I could see the entire thing in an hour).

So I looked at the temples and then I played ... with ridiculous jumping photos.






And later I went out drinking.. 50 cents for a beer at a nice lounge and $3 for a glass of wine at an upscale restaurant. Sweet.

And then I lost a bet:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEch7hqlbto

Bangkok. Same same, but different than NYC.

Bangkok is a big city- and it overwhelms me. Maybe it's the swarms of taxi and tuk tuk drivers asking (or threatening) you if you need a ride ('where you go?!?'), or the fact that I'm clearly a tourist and everyone looks at me with $ signs in their eyes and tries to sell me something. Or maybe it's the crazy hustle and bustle- the packed sidewalks with street food vendors, uneven pavement, and swarms of people. I think of Bangkok and I wonder if I'll be able to hang in such a big city... and then I think of my upcoming move to NYC. Just yesterday I booked a one way ticket and DAMN that feels good. I laugh when I think about NYC. I know that city, I know it's streets, it's subways, some of it's secret streets and hidden gems - I know exactly where I need to look to find more. I laugh because I'm overwhelmed by Bangkok simply because I don't know it- and I don't know how to navigate it.

I said f* it to this backpacking business and I'm filling a luggage with handmade dresses, cute little tanktops, knockoff jewelry, fashion watches, and whatever else I can get my hands on as I stroll thru the mall and down the street around the Siam area. I love it. I love big cities, and I can't wait to go home... to my new big city in new york.

Biking Bangkok to Angkor Wat: Day 4 - Slow boat. Really really slow boat.

I had this idea to 'plan not to have a plan' on my Asia trip. In this instance I didn't know what the plan was supposed to be for our ride today. So when our guide let us know that we were not riding at all, I was like 'oh? then what are we doing?!'. HA! We took a slow boat to siem reap ... and when they say slow, they mean slow.

We snaked along the river that at times was so narrow one of the boatmen had to run to the front and use a paddle to push us away from the river bank. We slowly drifted along, passing poor villages that live along the river. The villages are dependent on the river - there are no roads in this area - everyone travels by boat. Not only that - the river is their life source. They fish in the river with simple nets. They bathe in the river, drink from the river, wash their clothes in the river... and the water is brown, muddy, dirty. Their houses are built in the water - floating on big logs or steel barrels. If it rained too hard and the river overflowed they could become instantly homeless. If it didn't rain enough these people would not be able to live.

I stared at the villages .. and I counted my blessings and said thanks for what I have.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4jmcEmDtjY

The boat ride was 9 hours. I got bored. Really bored. I was dehydrated because it was hot - but I didn't want to drink anything because there was no restroom. But I didn't complain- I have no right to. Its impossible to compare my life to people in these poor villages. They have real challenges to face every day when they wake up and I don’t think they are complaining about how hard it is to “survive”. There was a clean restroom at the port when we got in. A young poor girl chased me to my stall to make sure I had toilet paper. And as I walked out I said “akun” and gave her all the money I had in my wallet.

Biking Bangkok to Angkor Wat: Day 3 - A hard 85km trek to Battambong

I didn't really know what I was in for on today's ride - but I knew it'd be our hardest day. We rolled out after an early breakfast and returned to the HELLOs of the children and the stares of everyone else. We stopped in the middle of no where (I guess everywhere is the middle of no where, so it's all same same).. to refuel. A herd of children surrounded us and we took pictures with them.. and gave them soda. A group of monks came by to beg for their food- and I awkwardly took off my shoes and stood in the road offering them pandan cakes and chocolate and coconut cookies. As they recited their chants, head bowed I thought about how awkward and how interesting this once in a lifetime experience was. Put on my helmet and went back to hammering the road on my bike.

Sometime in the afternoon we reached the base of a temple and we had lunch amongst the street dogs before climbing up it. It poured rain as we passed both monks and monkeys and got to the top.

After the temple we rode into battombong.. the 2nd biggest city in Cambodia. I couldn't envision a downtown, businesses, malls, and banks after seeing so many poor villages in the countryside. And as we got into the city - mud stained and soaking (and smiling) - the city was not exactly a 'city'.. but rather a collection of tuk tuks, motorbikes, a few hotels and 'markets'. The bank was a guy standing behind a counter full of money with a straight face and likely a big gun that I couldn’t see. Regardless a hot shower, a cheap massage, and wifi on my iPhone are the only essentials I need for survival. KIDDING.

Biking Bangkok to Angkor Wat: Day 2- Hello! Hello! HELLOOOO!

Crossing over the Cambodia border the border patrol looks at me sideways and says 'are you Chinese?' in a way that made me think saying 'yes' would mean 'no you can't come to Cambodia'. so I smiled and said 'no'.. and today I am not Chinese. wish I read my lonely planet book a little more closely to understand if there is any conflict between the two countries.

Crossing into Cambodia I was struggling a bit from heat stroke but we pressed on. I drank my water and Adam's water and was still dying in the heat. High humidity, sun directly on us, and I'm guessing its somewhere in the high 90s. As we passed into the green countryside over the rolling hills - we passed poor villages and farms. The children would run into the street, arms flailing and waving with both hands and screaming a friendly HELLO!!!! Every time. Every kid. Why are they so friendly? We are taught as children not to talk to strangers and as adults we act as though everyone is trying to scam or rip us off. I waved hello to every kid.. and as my body got tired towards the end of the ride, I'd be too tired to lift my hand from the gripped bike handle and I'd just yell 'Hello!!!' sometimes not even knowing what direction the greeting was coming from.

The sites and sounds of the back country roads were peaceful and simple. And as we rolled into our lodge - in the middle of NO WHERE... I spent a long time just reflecting on what I saw and read a book.

Biking Bangkok to Angkor Wat: Day 1 - Drenched and loving it

Spent my last night in bangkok drinking expensive cocktails at Sirocco (bar the Hangover 2 movie was filmed at). 2 cocktails for $38 makes me wonder if I'm in NYC or Thailand. It was on the 64th floor of the state tower - a beautiful view and conveniently a short walk from the apartment I was staying at.

Woke up early the next day and got picked up by Spice Roads- the bike tour company. We drove to our starting point, about three hours south of Bangkok and got on our mountain bikes by the beach for an 'easier' 25km ride. The tour can handle as many as 16 people, but there are only 4- that'd be me, Adam, the guide, and the van driver. Hello private tour!


We rode along the coast and 10 minutes into the ride it started pouring rain. We threw on some ponchos and put on our flip flops (there's no point in wearing soaking wet shoes) and we rode against one hell of a headwind. I got soaked and loved every second of it. We rode thru the countryside - past the shrimp farms, rambutan and rubber trees, and Thai style homes. We stopped at a nice resort and had a Thai lunch on the beach. Then it was back on our bikes pacelining thru the villages. I didn't know it was possible to paceline (or go fast) on a mountain bike - it was tiring and fun!



Rode for about 2.5 hours today, checked into our resort, and enjoyed our last evening in thailand. Tomorrow we cross the Cambodia border!

Feeling free. Being free. Embracing freedom.

Generally we make lists of what were thankful for. We try not to take things for granted - but I think if we were honest with ourselves, we could come up with a decently long list of things we take for granted.

Today as I'm sitting in a van, heading out of Bangkok and about to ride a bicycle to another country... and I think about how free I am. I think about how I up and quit my job, moved out of my apartment, got rid of my car, and left the country... all in the timespan of about three weeks. I think about how I had the choice to go anywhere in the world, choose my adventure, and shape my future however I pleased. That's liberating. And thats freedom. And I take that for granted.

As the van drives past the green countryside, I'm staring out the window knowing that I am free - and I will embrace and love each moment of it - but I will never understand what it means. I think about the things I have seen on this trip... the women who are mail order brides, the children who are sold into sex slavery, the men that are locked away in jails in a corrupt country.. and from a different perspective: the way poverty or disease has taken away people's freedom. Growing up in the states we are told that freedom is our birthright. We are a country that holds our fist in the air because goddamit were free. And freedom becomes second nature for us - we assume we'll always have it. In the same way I assume water will come out of the faucet every time I turn it on, or I'll have a roof over my head every time I go to sleep, or I'll have something to eat every time I'm hungry. I take these things for granted because I was born into privilege. I played sports and graduated with a 4.5 GPA in high school, went to the #1 public university in the US, worked for the largest company in the world, lived in the heart one of the great cities in the US and am about to move to another one. I have expertise in business strategy, merchandising, fitness, and cooking. I am privileged .. and I am free.

I look into the eyes of the less fortunate and I'm not one to give money to the homeless in san francisco who are coincidentally begging for change outside the liquor store... but there was something in my stomach that turned every time I saw a beggar last night in Bangkok. They weren't begging for alcohol or drug money. And I gave away all the change I had and I got choked up every time I did. Giving money to an individual beggar might help them to their next meal, but what's the larger solution? I find myself asking 'how will this be fixed?' - and in a country that is not mine, in a foreign place where I do not understand the language and I try to learn the culture, I feel powerless. It's very 'me' to figure out the solution, put together the plan, and lay out the action steps. But today I'll look out the window, and as I pass thru the poor villages on my bike trip, I have 7 days at 50km a day to think about it... and in the meantime, I'll acknowledge how lucky I am to be privileged ... and how lucky I am to be free.

Bye bye koh tao, we liked you, but we didn't love you

Woke up early this morning and did two morning dives. It's nice being certified- I can just go and dive and enjoy it. I didn't have to do any skill testing (ie taking my mask off underwater, doing emergency ascents, sharing air with your dive buddy, buoyancy testing, etc). It was a gorgeous dive- I saw a huge puffer fish, trigger fish, eels, big grouper, sting rays, and so many beautiful fish.

Back in time for a quick shower before heading to the ferry for a 2 hour ride to Chumphon then an overnight train to Bangkok. I'm sitting on the top bunk in my 1st class sleeper car as I write this.. and as the train rolls along I think about the people I met who work at Ban's. There was Jimmy- a nice young guy from Ireland. His love for diving has led him to work at dive shops around the world. Then there's Nat, grew up in brooklyn, lived in connecticut, traveled the world and then settled in koh tao and is working on becoming a dive instructor. I met others but there is a similarity in all of the people I met- they have found happiness. I give these people credit for following their passion - moving out to this tiny, remote island in Thailand, and doing what they love: diving. Happiness is not served to you on a platter, I meet so many people who wait for it to come, and I meet so many people, twice and thrice my age that still have not found it... and here these dive instructors are: happy.

I leave koh tao excited about the adventures I've had with diving. it was a gnarly experience (yes that's the word i want to use). Diving in tao is phenomenal. The island itself has diving, amazing sunsets, spectacular views... but if you want to be connected with the world, sleep somewhere comfortable, or go to a hospital (they don't have one)... koh tao is not your destination. so koh tao... sa wa dee crap (goodbye)... I liked you, but I didn't love you.

Officially certified and officially better

I'm a certified diver. When I think back on 'most rewarding things I've done' in my life I know diving is on that list. Exploring the ocean is fascinating and I love knowing that a new door has been opened for me. I feel like there is so much of this world I want to explore and now... there are parts of the ocean that I want to explore. It's a very exciting feeling to think that the options for discovery are endless.. and I've already started looking into diving in Vietnam.

I'm not healthy yet, but I'm doing better. A diet of plain noodles, soup, steamed rice, and fruit gets really f*ing old after six days. Today was the first day I started feeling better. I will say that having food poisoning hasn't hindered me from much. Its not my style to let anything slow me down (which also means Adam's attempt at trying to make me 'rest' is near impossible. And yes it's 'rest' in quotations). But I will admit I was getting scared. I unfortunately get food poisoning with frequency.. I can count off a half dozen times in the last couple years I got sick. But no time has ever lasted this long. I've been sick for six f*ing days. Ok I'm done complaining and will savor eating my chocolate pocky sticks.

I was too sick to go to koh phagna for the half moon party (sorry Greg, I really did plan this ENTIRE vacation around the moon party dates)... but I haven't had a sip of alcohol in awhile and generally have been attempting to sleep at night. The half moon party is basically a huge rave on the beach, at the half moon (full moon party is better but those dates didn't work), and it's drinking, body painting, music, and lots of euro trash. Writing that makes me not-so-sad that I missed it. I'd feel differently if it was a hip hop party.

Choosing to become fearless

You decide on what your fear. That means there is choice involved - on what it is you're fearful of and whether or not you'll have fear.

One of my biggest fears is the ocean. It's massive, it's unknown and it has scary things it in like sharks, eels, and sting rays. Adam has the same fear and he surprised me the other week when we were in Bohol, Philippines - he turned to me and said: we will be fearless about snorkeling. It was a statement.. and from that day forward we were fearless. I'm squeamish in the water - hate seeing jelly fish, avoid schools of fish in a feeding frenzy, stay away from the deep drop off by the edge of the reef. But after making the choice to be fearless- we were. Yes, it's as easy as that and I will challenge myself to think that way about other fears.

Fast forward a week and here we are - in the middle of a diving certification in Koh Tao. That's some serious 'overcoming fear' in my book. I had a moment today during our course. As background the course is 4 days:
day 1: classroom in the evening
day 2: half day classroom, halfway pool
day 3: half day 2 ocean dives, half day classroom and exam
day 4: half day 2 ocean dives, paperwork, done

My moment came on day 3 during our first ocean dive. We were swimming through a dive spot called Twin Peaks and we rounded a corner around the reef and I looked up into this mountain of coral, swarms of colorful tropical fish and the sun shining thru the water 12 meters above me. At that moment, in all my scuba gear, I cried. I'm not a person that cries much, so two cries in one week is a bit of overkill for me (voice in head says 'come onnnn Christine'). But I was simply overwhelmed ... by the most spectacular thing I have EVER seen. In that moment I also felt very proud of myself. I don't give myself credit and I will admit I never believe that my very best is ever good enough ... but in that moment, it was enough: I had become fearless and was swimming amongst the sting rays, eels, and schools of fish.. and it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. And don't forget - I'm sick. I have food poisoning that at times was so painful it brought me to my knees. But here I am anyway - fearlessly becoming a diver - and that choice has allowed me to see what was before me.

Island hopping in Thailand... from Koh Samui to Koh Tao

Hopped on a short ferry from Koh Samui and headed for Koh Tao - a tiny island where there are only two things to do: dive or drink. Met some new friends on the boat - who apparently are also our neighbors in san francisco. Swapped travel stories and we all checked into (the supposedly #1) Ban's Dive Resort.

Had only enough time upon arrival to change clothes and rent a motorbike before rushing to dive class. I was pleasantly surprised by how GOOD the class is.

Still feeling really sick. Not all days are perfect. Was so miserable I cried, got over myself, and took cipro (antibiotics). I'm still having fun, I'm still smiling, I'm still enjoying every moment of this trip. Just needed a minute to allow myself to know I'm feeling very bad, and feel bad about myself. Had a night in, rented a DVD and had an orange juice and tonic water for dinner. Yum.

I think going from a five star resort at Melati to a not-so-five-star resort at Ban's was a not-so-fun experience. Ban's drove us all around the resort in a golf cart and we looked at 5 or 6 different rooms. We took the nicest one and it's still not that great. The gecko on the ceiling freaks me out and the spider in the shower freaks out Adam and we can't sleep. so we laugh and play Uno until the wee hours .. considering just pulling an all-nighter and not sleeping at all since were so uncomfortable. We pack up and leave first thing in the morning to do some online research for our next resort.

Spent the day in the classroom and in the pool for my diving course and post class went to look at all the 'top resorts' we had found online. several resorts and many many room tours later... here we are, back at ban's. we thought we saw every room, but we didn't see their nicest one.

I think about today and I laugh at myself. Our resort sucked but we made the best of it. And here we are, right back where we started and going to try to make the best of it.

I think about how I sucked it up today. I did the dive class- all 8 hours of it, with food poisoning, nearly fainting a few times and other times praying to get out of the water and into a bathroom!

I'm writing this as I get eaten alive by mosquitos, one more to my collection of over two dozen won't hurt.

Koh Samui: Watching a TKO at a Muy Thai fight... then getting TKO'd by food poisoning

Staying at Melati has been awesome. Went to see a muy thai fight at Chaweng Stadium. I've seen one before in Bangkok and this was just as fun. Got to see both thai fighters as well as french and english fighters. Saw about half dozen fights then went to check out the night life. Ended up at a reggae pub and danced the night away to a really awesome live band.

Spent the following day lounging. Was starting to feel sick. Swam at the pool while Adam got a free scuba lesson then used Melati's kayaks to go explore around. Started feeling REALLY sick and went back to the room and passed out. Was so sick I could barely get up. I'd sit up, then fall back into bed. Took me twenty minutes to stand up and get out the door... I wasn't about to miss my 'massage by the pool by the beach'. I had a fever, my head felt like it weighed 100 pounds and I was having really bad body aches.

Took me forever to walk down to the pool and when I finally got there I relaxed into the BEST massage. Was feeling better and decided to take a yoga class on the beach. It was gorgeous being on the sand, the sun low in the sky and the water calm. I was trying to find my om while keeping a straight face (the instructor's english wasn't that great... so telling me to focus on my 'breath-ing' while 'looking at the natural' (i.e. nature) was painfully funny). started getting feverish again and called it quits, good thing we were done anyway. Sat in the pool to cool off, then couldn't deal anymore and went back to the room and passed out again. Woke up feeling all kinds of bad... tried to go to dinner to get some soup. I had a hard time walking there and after a few minutes of being at dinner was so sick they had to drive me back to my room in a golf cart. As soon as I got back I threw up EVERYWHERE (at least it was outside).

Felt MUCH better. Definitely food poisoning.

I was really touched by how nice the staff was. When we were at dinner I wasn't feeling well so they put a fan on me. They made a soup for me that wasn't normally served on the menu. When I started feeling sick they instantly drove me back to my room and brought all our food to the room. There was a doctor that was eating dinner at the restaurant and she saw me (sick as hell) and she had the staff bring her to my room so she could take my temperature and check up on me. Thai people are really nice. That combined with they are paid to be really nice (i.e. five star resort) is a really nice combo!

I got sick, but I'm thankful I got sick at Melati. There are definitely places I've stayed at that I didn't even want to sleep IN the sheets (but rather slept on top of the sheets). I'm doing much better now... extended our stay an additional night so I can get completely better and just booked tickets to go to Koh Tao to get dive certified!

Koh Samui: Waterfall Hike and a Five Star Resort

I'm still in awe by how beautiful Koh Samui is. I've been to amazing beaches - islands in Hawaii, south beach, cancun, aruba, caribbean... but I've never seen anything this beautiful. Scooted around on our motorbike (my helmet is more like a necklace than a helmet so I decided not to wear it.. sorry mom, it doesn't stay on my head). Scooted over to a waterfall on the southern part of the island. We got a flat tire (CRAP!) ... but just like Starbucks, there is a 'vulcanizing shop' on every corner. So we literally walked 10 feet to get to one. Sweet. And for some reason.. it costs more to change the tire on my road bike in california that it does to have your tire, that is completely ripped apart, fixed on your motor bike. So $5 later we were back on the road zipping over to the waterfall.

We hiked up (reminded us of the half dome hike, although it was 2x hotter and there wasn't a bottle of johnny walker involved). And at the top we sat on the waterfall. It was awesome!

Jumped back on the motorbike and checked into Melati, a five star resort in Bophut (northern part of Koh Samui). Hello middle of nowhere. The resort is huge and it's made up of "villas" (40 of which have their own private pools). Needless to say, the place is amazing. It's nicer than the Ritz in South Beach, although there isn't a tanning butler (i.e. a guy with big muscles and a speedo that massages sunscreen on you). No complaints from me.

Sat by the pool (which is the biggest pool I have EVER seen.. doing one lap across it is exhausting) and ordered drinks since it was happy hour. Apparently "buy one get one free" doesn't mean "I get a drink and then Adam gets his drink free" it means "I get two of the same drink and Adam gets two of the same drink". HAHA!

Koh Samui... an easy decision to extend our stay

Is it possible for a place to be "too beautiful"? Enjoying Koh Samui so much I think we're going to skip Phuket, stay here and keep island hopping (3 more days here then go to Koh Tao). I think a diving certification might be on my to-do list.

After Angthong Marine Park the second half of our day was spent scooting around on a motorbike. Found an amazing viewpoint in which we walked down to the water and enjoyed some stunning views.

Later had another nice dinner and then got caught in a rainstorm. It will be clear blue skies and out of no where you'll see the clouds moving in and then it just POURS. It rains so hard you may as well be taking a shower (my stuff is always kept inside individual zip lock bags inside my purse. Thanks Mommy for giving me such a large stash of them). We got caught in the rain and had a fun and wet motorbike ride back to the hotel.